It’s been a tough old week, but I made it! There were multiple times where I just wanted to quit so I wouldn’t have to worry, I wouldn’t have to feel a failure or like I’m letting everyone down anymore, but I got the end of the week, and I feel better for it.
I’m glad I’m still here, thankfully I was strong enough to ignore what my brain was telling me to do. Every week I get through, I grow a little stronger, I prove something to myself thus I grow more confident and find ways to cope.
I have found that routine is key. At the start of the week, I cleared out everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I de-cluttered and decorated my room, I sorted the clothes I didn’t wear and took them to the charity shop, and even organised down to the very little things like unfollowing people and starting fresh, all the mundane things I tend to ignore, things that were clouding my mind without me even knowing.
After everything was in order, I set about making a routine for myself. I used to wake up around mid-day, I don’t have a full time job (or even part time job I guess, as modelling is all over the place) so I never felt the need to wake up early, now I wake up at 9am every morning. I’ve decided, I want to take what I do seriously, and I want to take it to the next level, and I can’t do so with a slob body, so after I’m up, I’ll have my breakfast and then I will exercise, yes that’s right, I actually exercise now.
I keep all my meals healthy and I’m very strict with it, I don’t snack anymore, and I only drink water, with the allowance of one cup of tea in the morning. I’m already feeling a great difference, it’s amazing!
I try and keep myself busy for the rest of the day. If I don’t have a shoot booked, I’ll spend the day taking care of admin, doing the housework, going for walks and exploring the beautiful city I live in. Although, it is strange to be living in a place so full of life, and to still feel lonely, I guess that gives me one more thing to work on. I can’t complain though, I survived another week, and I am proud.
I would also like to thank you all for your support, it really kept me going, thank you.
As far as prints go, my personal favorites are the third and fifth one! Very intriguing facial expression, soft colors, and (of course) a VERY pretty face to look at. They're all great though, good work! :)